A New Step

Well, here's an update on the second kiddo hold up.
The good news: we've found a possible reason for the hold up.
The bad news: we have to wait until June to find out more.

The full story:
Went to the doctor for regular well-woman exam - don'tcha love 'em? Anyway, of course we talked about our difficulty conceiving number 2. We're at the end of year 2 of trying for those of you keeping track! He did some routine checks and questions and then sent me for a blood test. He told me then, "Don't be surprised if I want you to go back in two weeks to have it re-done." Okay, so when that is exactly what happened, I wasn't surprised (I'm good at following Dr.'s orders...). But after that test, I was asked to wait two weeks and do it again. By now we were back to the beginning of my cycle and this time I was a little surprised and beginning to think maybe he had found something. Since all he was now checking was my estrogen level...well, it doesn't take a scientist to figure out what I was told next.
I received a call late Wednesday afternoon from the nurse telling me that all three of my tests had come back low on my estrogen level. Hmmmm.....
They recommended a specific reproductive endocrinologist (say that really fast five times!) but to my dismay, he is not on our insurance plan. I then made a call to our resident expert/friend and discovered that the one they had gone to was indeed on our plan. However, the first appointment I could get was mid June. Poop.
So, that's the facts....Here's how this translates in my emotional world. We've been at this for so long and have had no idea why kid #2 would be so long comin'. As more time passed I guess I began thinking it really wouldn't ever happen and kinda stopped even being optimistic...just resigned, I think. I would love on other people's babies (there are a lot of them!) and just keep praying. Then to find out that yes, there is possibly a problem that is theoretically fix-able brought a spectrum of unexpected feelings. Relief that maybe we can get somewhere now. Release of diagnoses of insanity that I'd given myself for this weird second baby infertility!! Fear of what the next step may be. Uncertainty of whether we're ready for a next step. Impatience at wanting the appointment to be tomorrow morning, for pete's sake!!
Yet, after the call that put me on the emotional edge, there was still dinner to make, a lesson to teach to jr. highers, all the normal Wednesday stuff, y'know. Only all I could really focus on was getting this resolved! It still kinda is my only thought. By the time Reed got home, all it took was a hug and I dissolved. Not a break down or anything, but a release (you girls know what I'm talking about). Then things were better...only I knew if I was going to make it until June, I needed something else.
So I lay down on the bed and talked to God. I told Jesus all my feelings, especially the fear...I think there's more fear than I'll admit...but all I can do is give it to Him. So I did...and I still do. And I still will until June...and after June, probably!
I write this to 1. get it out (it feels great!) 2. let you in on the infertility process and emotions 3. update you so you can pray. Please pray. However God leads you after reading this, just pray. Thanks.
One more thing... I realize how blessed I am to have my one sweet Evy but I just feel that there's more Mama in me for another. And she'd be such a great big sis and she wants a baby, too. I'm glad she is learning through this, too. She asks me why we don't have a baby and I tell her God just hasn't thought it was time for us. But I tell her we can pray for one, and we do. What a great day it will be when we can all praise Him together for a second blessing to the Cutshalls!

A Day in the Sun

What a glorious afternoon we had today. Well, it wasn't just for my Round Topping friends, no, I didn't even envy you today, for today was spent in the perfect way. First, I woke up to this sweet face in my bed:We had a nutritious breakfast of yogurt, milk and cinnamon rolls dripping with icing which she got to put on herself and I even let her lick the knife clean! Then we got dressed, packed a lunch and headed to a new (to us, anyway) Sugar Land park, Memorial Park on University Dr. I'd heard cool things and decided to check it out. By the time we arrived, the clouds had cleared and the sky was blue and bright!

"Can I play first, Mommy?!" she asked knowing that we almost always eat first...but today.....

"Sure!" I say. Why not?!

She explored every nook and cranny of the play equipment, which was really cool. This webby thing is great! I could even get up there with her.



There was also a nearby "lake" and rocky brook that she enjoyed throwing pebbles into and climbing along the rocks.


And this neat miniature rock climbing wall. Reed and I, though you wouldn't know it now, love rock climbing and I am proud to report that she scaled this thing with little difficulty! That's my girl!

Then she conceded to eat lunch, but her banana clearly tasted better when eaten on a nearby rock.

I soon received a wonderful voice message on my cell phone: "I'm in the airport and I'll call you when I'm in my car." YEA!! I let Evy listen to it but could still only convince her to leave the park by offering ice cream. That did it easily!

So we headed to Cold Stone where she ordered Cotton Candy blue ice cream with sprinkles, of course. She ate every bite...cone and all!

Then off for home and a much needed nap. Reed had called again to say he was in his car on the way home...finally!! I was able to get Evyn home and asleep and start on mowing the lawn. (This is not usually my job but I do occasionally enjoy it and it was a nice day and I wanted to have it done so Reed wouldn't have to do it on Sunday.)

He finally made it home, I finished the yard and we put together a new "jungle gym" kind of toy from Gram and Grampa. We got cleaned up and shared a Coke before thinking we should really wake our girl up or she'd never go to sleep tonight.

When she woke up and saw her Daddy...well, she immediately lit up and snuggled up to him. She's such a Daddy's girl! We went outside to play on her new "climber" as she calls it, but she wouldn't let Daddy get too far from her!
We finished the day eating chicken fingers out on our deck and put her, miraculously, to bed after a good bath!

I do hope my antiquing friends had a great time and I hope you had the opportunity to enjoy our beautiful day, too, but for me today - playing, ice cream, a husband home from a long journey...no antique could be better than that, no day better spent! Thank you, God, for my wonderful family, for bringing us safely back together!

Just to whet your appetite

This one is for those of you headed to Round Top (Marburger) in the next few days...just to get you ready (as if you weren't already!).

Mom and I went opening day (Tuesday) and also saw/ate lunch with Steph and Becky. (You'll be able to read her sad Round Top story here whenever she posts it...very sad!)

Casey, I did see a few medicine cabinets in the $100-110 range, that I'm sure you could get for closer to $75 by Saturday. I also found a pair of silhouettes that were, well, expensive! I did buy a very small one for $10!

There was a lot of Europe at this show. It didn't seem as American country to me. There was a lot of French and Italian antiques as well as quite a bit of Swedish (great, beautiful painted grandfather clocks). It was supreme!

Julie, I saw a booth with quite a bit of vintage fabric that seemed affordable (sorry I can't remember which tent!).

And, please, pack a lunch! The line is forever long, and super expensive, so pack a cooler of sandwiches and fruit, some drinks and cookies. Then you can eat it in your air conditioned car if it's hot or take it to the food tables and eat there (which is what we did sans the cooler so we could throw away what we didn't eat and not have another trip to the car).

Oh, and, in other news...I bought my dream breakfast table!!! It was in the last structure we went into and there it was. I checked the price (as I always do just to drive me crazy!) and, NO WAY...it was less than $2,000...it was less than $1,000...it was originally priced at around 700, down to $630. That was enough to get me to call my mom back to look at it. She said, "Well, if you want it, you better ask their final price before you call and wake your husband!" (Reed's in India and it was about 1 AM there! But I had to have approval, of course, to make such a purchase!) So, the guy came over and looked at the tag and said, "Well, it has a green sticker on it which usually means that's a firm price, but let me ask..." So, I thought that was it...until... she offered $550!!! Holy cow!! My knees went weak and I seriously got goose bumps!

Finally, after some dealing with Reed (new oven which I can get any time...or antique french table...which would you choose?) the table was mine!! It's coming home on Thursday! Here's a sneak peek!

Round #2 (Warrenton) on Thursday with Steph and Cynthia (with a side trip to pick up my beauty!!).