What "Lonely" Means These Days

Have you ever heard that little factoid about the Inuits (or someone like that) having, like, 50+ words for "snow"? Why? Because it is their life. It is such a part of every day and can be experienced and, therefore, described in so many ways. For me, personally, I have really no knowledge of snow, so snow is just snow.
Now, I'm a word person anyway. I like writing, I enjoy good, descriptive writing (like Catherine Newman down there in my link list - she's awesome!). I like the idea of being able to say what I mean succinctly because there are exact words for it. It irks me that we use the word "love" to describe so many truly different emotions. The love I have for pizza does not rival that of Vargo's chocolate mousse. And even that does not rival the love I have for my husband, and that is even different from the love I have for my little one. But this sorry little language of ours is lacking in this sense.
Another one: lonely.
As in, "My hubby is away and I am lonely." The typical response is, "Well, come on over!" "Let's have dinner." "Call me anytime!" While I really do appreciate these invitations for the sincerity and thoughtfulness with which they are delivered, they do not solve the problem of loneliness. Not this kind, anyway. It is not a lack of friends. It's not really boredom, either (though that comes into play at times). This loneliness is the result of my heart's soul mate being away. Not only is he not present, he is mostly unreachable. He is 7 hours ahead of us and that gives us maybe one uninterrupted, quality phone conversation per day. And usually either I am exhausted or he is.
He is my one. He knows me and shares my life with me. We are intertwined and interdependent (whether he says so or not!). He is the only one who knows our financial struggles and woes in actual amounts. He is the only one who revels in a good, funny Evy story like me because he is the only other one who loves her as I do. He is the one who "gets" my vision of student ministry. He is the one who gets me off of the couch and going to community group when I don't want to. He is the one who really knows why I don't want to go and gets that, too. He is the one I want by my side at school orientations, birthday parties, family dinners, and the first A & M game of the season. Because he gets it.
I want to tell him about the movie I saw, the fabric I love, the annoying thing Evy did, the beautiful way she suddenly whispered, "I love you, Mommy" in my ear today. Yes, I can still tell him these things, but he's not here to experience it with me. He's not here to kiss me, smile and say with his sweet brown eyes, "I know."
I know you know these things when you offer to have us for dinner, to stay at your house or to go out or to call. I know you know what it's like to be surrounded by people, friends even, yet still feel alone.
I miss my hubby.
And to think, God gave him to me as a shabby foreshadow and hint of the love He has for me and the soul mate that He is for my heart. This is my main reassurance that I am not alone. I have gone to sleep before with my Bible just to have a physical knowledge of His presence. I need Him even more than my hubby. I know this is one possible lesson in all of this travelling. That I would not become independent or fully capable without my hubby, but that I would become more dependent upon Him. That's my prayer.
I love you, Puppy, and I can't wait for this to be over. I am praying for you and longing for the day we are together again. Talk to you soon.