Age of Grace

These words struck me this Sunday. I've heard them before but, for some reason, they made sense and had a real, significant meaning. The reason, of course, is the realization of my sin. The unfortunate thing was that it wasn't even my sin that Chuck was dealing with this particular Sunday, but in the Holy Spirit's way of using the Word to convict and grow us, I was hit by the crossfire. See, the topic was actually dealing with being pure in a porn world. Not that I thought I would just coast through this talk, but I sure didn't expect what I got. It became evident as Chuck spoke that this sin, as insidious as it is, is just like most (all?) other sin...we make an idol out of whatever it is we seek when it is not God. (Really we're seeking to please ourselves and at the root of it, we make ourselves our idols.) This began to really break my heart. My heart broke over my sin. My idol has been my home. Fixing it, decorating it, shopping over my budget. It has been what I've thought about, read about, thought some more about, lusted after (y'know that female porn!!), been discontent... It was painfully obvious to me where my heart had gone and how hard it had become. And as the words of Paul in the book of Romans sunk in, how God "lets them go" Chuck said that that's what had happened to Jesus on the cross in my place. God let Him go. Capital H - Him! Jesus with no one to turn to. No Father (that he'd always known), no unconditional love, no acceptance, no forgiveness, just gone to be sin. I sometimes wonder what people do with their guilt, discouragement, loss without God in their lives. Well, Jesus knows.

But then, Chuck said, you are here. God in His mercy has brought you here. Here to church to hear this message. Here to feel His conviction, His call to victory over addictive sins.

The Age of Grace.

Use it. Use it a lot. God shows us that He has nothing to hide. He has nothing but grace.

So there I sat with tears streaming embarrassingly down my face as Tim began to sing,

I have bowed at the altar

Of the world and it's lies.

Now I long to return to You.

You alone can satisfy.

I have wasted affections

On the things You despise.

They have failed and they always will

For You alone can satisfy.

Then we took communion and I went up there and I really did fall apart. Tears were running down my face as Ellis and sweet Rose served with those beautiful words, "The blood of Christ shed for you." Ah, such a gift to my soul. Forgiveness. The Age of Grace!

So, for those of you who may have seen my little breakdown, no, I don't have a porn addiction (again, simply by the grace of God!) but I do have a worldly addiction. And I'm so glad that God still allows it to break my heart. I pray that He breaks yours, too. What mercy and grace He lavishes on us!