Ugh. Insert big, groan-type of sigh here.
I'm feeling a bit bummed today (or maybe just right now). Maybe y'all can relate.
Looks like I'm going to have to cancel a student ministry event I had planned for tonight because the details just aren't coming together. That stinks because I feel it causes me to lose some credit, y'know. Oh, well, that's in God's hands. I'm taking that pretty well in stride, I think.
What has really induced this feeling is that I just finished reading other blogs. I have just become sucked into this world of jumping from one stunning person's blog to another and finding one industrious, amazing mom to another. One is homeschooling 5 kids while composting, recycling and growing their own food then to another who is making her own wipees, diapers, shirts, curtains, prom dresses and probably building a house on the side! Okay, I exaggerate, but that's how it feels. Kinda like when you read Proverbs 31, y'know. Or that magazine with the Together Mom (only really it's a team of single, urban designers gleaning ideas off the web in their glass offices downtown).
So, I guess I'm really just admitting to being on that spiralling ride I'm sure you've all been on of comparing myself and not measuring up. What, for instance, am I actively doing to save my family money? I don't use coupons, I don't make my own anything and I wash clothes after every wearing (because, really, after I wear them, then where am I going to put them to await they're next outing? Back in my closet full of clean clothes? No way, sister. Sitting out on the glider in our bedroom looking cluttered and getting wrinkled? If someone can answer that question for me maybe I'll readdress this issue...but I digress...). I guess some might say I'm crafty, but I just feel like I have little time for that. How does Mrs. Homeschool Mom of 5 find time to MAKE all her own stuff?
Okay, stop. I'm just ranting now. Breathe.
I'm reminded now of an article I read in Radiant Magazine (thanks, Cynthia). It was talking of this evil comparing cycle and put the thought in my head that Mrs. I Have It All Together is also least likely to make those around her feel comfortable. I mean, she has it all figured out and appears to be perfect, so who wants to put themselves around that. "And as much as we may think our efforts at fixing what's 'wrong' about us are going to improve our relationships [or whatever], the truth is that the more we focus on ourselves, the less other people are going to enjoy being around us." That's what the article said (by Constance Rhodes).
So, well, I gotta go. Enough of my ingrown eyes. My Precious is up from her nap and it's time to do what I do without question: love that girl. I'll leave the ride in favor of the approval of the only One I need.
Bye.
This hits close to home. Your comment to me recently along the lines of, "Think of all the things you are missing out on because you are so focused on yourself" has been replaying over and over in my mind. We have had much more frequent and deeper conversations with our fun neighbors thanks to you spurring me on.
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