A: Psalm 3 and 4
Reed has been in Hyderabad, India for the past week and a half. It's been...hmmm....hard.
Just so you know, if it were completely up to me, Reed would quit. I really can't stand the travelling at all. Call me a baby, but I just don't think it's right. However, really Reed and I have not felt like that has been what God is calling us to do (yet!) and we know that this job he has is really amazing!
At any rate, the answer is that I don't do it! I hate it. I hate every minute of it and have to work very hard not to make Reed "pay" for leaving me. Not making him feel guilty. Especially when it's Sunday afternoon, I'm tired, she's got an attitude that would rival any teen (more on that later), and it's been a week of on the job 24/7! The worst times are at night. I get very bored, very lonely. But I won't whine about that (I think I have before) so I'll get to the point. If you're like me, when you're alone in the house, you hear everything. bumps, creaks, scratches, booms...and they are amplified! I tend to stay up very late watching TV until I'm so tired I'm about to fall over so that when I go to bed, I won't be able to keep my eyes open and hear all the noises. But I've discovered Psalm 3 and 4.
This verse is my favorite: "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Not only did this initially relieve my anxiety about being safe, but I realized something in this verse, too. "You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Even if Reed was here, even with our alarm, even with doors locked, it is God alone who gives me safety. Even with the phones (I sleep with the cordless and my cell phone), even if I had a gun (which I DON'T!), it would still be God alone who makes me dwell in safety. It reminds of another verse: "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God." Psalm 20:7.
What do you trust in?
I completely relate with sleeping with the cell phone and cordless phone by my bed when Phil is away. I had never pondered these verses before. Ange once told me something that really made me relax, "no one knows you are home alone except you." She said it's not like there is a sign in the yard saying 'hubby not here' - but that is exactly how I felt! Thinking of you today and looking forward to your tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI totally relate! Thanks for sharing. Most of the time I end up sleeping in the living room with the phone by my side and the tv on all night.
ReplyDeleteI love the verses you shared and will make note especially for future home alone nights.
I love the reminder that husbands, locked doors and alarms are a false sense of security. God alone is our shield and our protector!
Thanks for the reminder of where our real trust needs to be!
Wow, I am so glad to know that I'm not the only one who struggles with this so much! Brandon is gone so often that usually after a few nights of very little sleep I end up breaking down and begging my younger brother to come stay in my guest room for a few nights just so I can catch up on enough sleep to function. Fear can be so paralyzing and it frustrates me to no end! I will be praying for you. I hope that Reed comes home soon!
ReplyDeleteMy boss is in Hyderabad tomorrow through the 21st for a woman leader's ministry training event!
ReplyDeletePraying for you girl! I have complete confidence that you will be just fine! But, I totally understand feeling less secure because your hubby's not home.